10/3/2016
-------------
Part 1:
Mass invasion. Frustration while trying to find hiding place. found a nook, net would have covered well, but others wanted to join me there hiding. i couldn't refuse. i attempted to attach covering high and securely, but failed. i had to move. long ropes involved. in the end glad that i had because entry of militants was directly in front of initial hiding place. this was just blind killing, bombing. no captives.
part 2:
i managed to escape the war zone. i don't know how. but it went from bad to worse. captured, along with 4-5 other girls. the leader took a liking to my appearance. i was disheveled, but in flimsy pajamas. we were in an in between zone; these guys were more human, though not more humane. we were clearly there to be used, abused. various acts were happening around this hovel of an apartment. i constantly looked for hiding places, escape routes. it was clear that every possible nook, every potential crevice, had been hollowed out. i looked up -- stairs hollow, attic panels removed. beau was hiding in sink. i left him there. at one point, despite many lascivious threats from the leader, which i had no doubt would come to pass, everyone seemed to be occupied. i considered trying to walk out the front door. i assumed there would be an alarm, but if even if there wasn't, i had absolutely no where to go. no idea if there would be any refuge anywhere. also, beau was still inside. i couldn't leave him, although i knew that....there was no hope. it wasn't just rape. it was filth, and perversion, and complete sick objectification.
part 3:
in a car, driving away, escaping. needed gas. let beau out, when i glanced up, many ominous and threatening looks from canadians in neighboring car. panic filled me. i called beau back, uncertain that i at all would be able to get away in time. we drove away. by the time we arrived, i was riding a beautiful giant horse. not directly on, long string attaching. but it was the only pleasant part of the dream. i arrived somewhere safely. not the longterm promise of safety. but safe at the time.
